How much of a hypocrite can one get? You called me and confronted me about the things I've said and now you're doing the same thing back to me. I know. Words can fly. My ears have heard the same way yours had. Could it be sweet vengence for you? Or was it merely coincidental that you also did what I have done but only when I did it I was wrong and you were right?

Well I guess the confrontation was meant to make you feel better so you wouldn't have had to feel the guilt. Well I guess it's worked ain't it? Have fun...

My ride is getting more and more bumpy. Hills and rough mountains up ahead. I think I've only conquered small humps, which is only the beginning. My mind seems to tell me, welcome to the real world. The fantasy life in which I have always been living in has been stashed away properly where I won't be accessing for a long time to come.

This is my life:

Way back in the beginning, there were flowers and rainbows galore. I took it for granted because my brain told me that life is such. It was perfect but mundane, floating on 5 erratic oceans. Then I threw it away because I wanted bluer skies and brighter sunshines. And my voracious apppetite for more grew. However, this sun will always be shining, I know.

Then came along a bed I slept in, to cushion the fall in which I chose. And I panicked because I slept for too long and had weird but nice dreams. And when I finally awoke I knew I had killed someone. Two crimes done.

I decided to fly and not jump and fall anymore. I flew without the desire and the lust that once followed me around in shadows. And I began to see sunshine once again. The fight for my flight seemed horribly intense and long. That was my first fight. And it was a real one, just in case you're cynical about it. I was intensely passionate about this fight that I got blinded by the sun. But still I fought on. I don't know why I did. I just did cos my heart told me to. And I got burnt black, then was invited to stop. The story has not ended yet... This is not a crime.

So I stopped and landed to the ground, head on my shoulders. Now it was someone's turn to fly, literally. I fought again, but this time, to pull the flight to the ground. And to the ground it landed while I laid out a path of rose petals for the landing. Too bad the pathway had a big gap of nothingness in between. My life took a change back to where I had to be but not belonged anymore. That was the gap. And I tried to fill this gap with more rose petals but the daisies kept getting in the way. And I let them get in the way, which led the path to a dead end. Third crime.

... And the story continues... But I continued nurturing the daisies. Cared for them and loved them. But I knew I could not pick them for they were not mine. I just wanted to care for them and see them beauties blossom in the sun that I shone... And the story continues...

A different scent wafted through the air. It smelt pleasant and sweet. But little did I know that it would sting. I fought for it with words that were requested. But I guess my words were overflowing. This is where the confusion begins. I breathed in too much and now am choking. My fight is still ongoing and it stabs me in my longing beater that maybe this fight is not going to be a victorious one. I cry.

... And the story continues...

My grief rings...
My anguish burns...

This is my life for now among other things that are currently contributing to my heartaches and tears. Guess I have to hold on tight.

It's malice I say. There was no need to ask questions like that. What is the point? I am already down in the dumps enough. Please, no more salts in my wounds anymore.

I couldn't face it. My brain kept replaying the dark images in my mind. My eyes should have opened before anything at all. But I guess it was too late. There was no recollection of a beginning, and the end left trails of blood rushing laughter that faded off into embarrassed screams into the night sky. Smoke out. Wash down. Breathe in. Screams again, then laughter. Never in my dreams would I thought I would feel so horrified. I woke up from a scratch, and turned away, not knowing what to say. Maybe it's cos I feel someone missing. Someone who made a deep print in my life. My mind's scared and scarred now.

I am happy I have cleared the animosity between me and a friend.

I know of myself and aware of what I do.

And a friend will not say never
Cos the welcome will not end...

Well.. I thought I was always welcome.... I've knocked on your door for too many times for help but I've always gotten a rejection.. thanks anyway.