Some people just never know how blatantly shameless their words sound, no matter how dreafully subtle they try to make it sound. But well... I guess that's what some people do to get attention. Sorry mate. Reverse psychology never works on me. Enjoy your day anyway.

Real sweet...

The next moment of silence

The next moment of silence burst
And pumps out the breath of the crickets' cry
It's the sleeping sigh of the warm summer breeze
The crushing hushness stepping upon the night

The next moment of silence spins
Upon the flawless smooth of the monstrous sky
And the wenches and boys throw their presence
Away from the emptiness eating the streets

The next moment of silence jabs
Into the stomach with a stinging ring
That counts the seconds you writhe in pain
You'd wish the gnashing of silence's teeth
Would unfasten from your wriggling wrist

The next moment of silence's sweetness
Rides on the tongue of absence
As the delicious drips of darkness
Paddle away from the stretches of streetlamp rays

The next moment of silence reeks
Of the odour that rots from the hollowness
Of burning skeletons abandoned from the age
Of the mild and meek from whom they were never borne

This is the only way to reach true happiness... Forgiveness...

To forgive and to be forgiven. Difficult but possible. I know it cos I've been there and done that... Was taught to by the Lord above, and his teachings are really true.

Really love this song... Check it out

Heart Of The Matter

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
...People filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,
Doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, Baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

- Don Henley

Go be happy... and spread it on...

I've just woken up. My head's spinning from too much sleep. And I know that today is gonna be a really boring day. My mouth tastes of last night's conversation with myself, and I'm weak from the afternoon sun.

Sometimes I think that too much of anything will kill you. But I'm still hungry. Hungry for things to be the way I never really experienced it to be. It was never too much because it never happened.

And now I'm thrown. The little pieces we have picked up along the way seems unknown. And now I'm blown. Cos little by little, I know I'll soon be alone.

I know that look, whenever the smile seeps in. That's what I know because I can see. The little happiness that awakes inside of me, awakes because of you.

There are a million thoughts humping their voices on my brain now.

Here's one of them: FUUUUCK!!!!!

And that's a scream tantamount to the shrieks that come shrilling out of the gates of hell. The screams that tear out my guts and leave my entrails wound round my choking neck. It doesn't spare the choking of my heart either that's bound within the apparent safety clasp of my chest, which unfortunately was torn open again at the seam of my freshly nursed scarred tissue.

And that person in my head howling the swear pounds his punches into his face till it caves in. He bangs the wall against his squelching wet brain that minces onto the floor and he cries. He cries because he will not die. He drives in a knife through his neck into the throat and twists. Gargling blood spews, and he sits to watch himself drown in his own blood, mixed with tears.

He doesn't die...

Thought of the day: Can happiness be fabricated?

I got a bad stomach ache now... I need to pang sai...

I smile. Cos you do. That's what I look forward to everyday. Your smile. It just lifts my spirits knowing you are happy.

I've just killed myself. Exams are full of crap. It's just a regurgitation of what you crammed up in your head for the past 4 months or so. What good does it do anyway? And they always say it's the experience that counts when you go out looking for a job. Hell you can get a degree in Medicine and end up as an insurance salesman. I mean what good is a fucking piece of paper?

I'm going to fail my argumentative essay for Youth Writing. Do all writers need to do this? Argue? Is that all they do? But then again I guess it's good to have an analytical mind to write good stories. I don't argue much. So does that mean I'm not going to make it as a writer? Sigh...